Regina King: I understand that grief is love that has no place to go
In January 2022, Regina King’s 26-year-old son Ian Alexander Jr. died by suicide. Ian Jr. was Regina’s only child. The entire Hollywood community came to an immediate and wordless agreement to give Regina and her family space and time to heal. There have been absolutely zero intrusions, although people would occasionally say that they were praying for Regina and her family. Regina took more than a year away from work, from everything. This past Sunday’s Oscar ceremony was her first public appearance since Ian’s passing, and she wore his favorite color, orange, to honor him. She’s currently promoting Shirley, a bio-pic about Shirley Chisholm’s groundbreaking presidential run, and Regina gave her first interview to Robin Roberts at ABC. I could not get through this clip or write this post without sobbing.
“I understand that grief is love that has no place to go. I know that it's important to me to honor Ian and the totality of who he is.”@ReginaKing speaks out to @robinroberts for the first time about her son’s death over two years ago. https://t.co/yIiTGItzCY pic.twitter.com/D2fXGdcauc
— Good Morning America (@GMA) March 14, 2024
Some heartbreaking quotes:
The past two years: “I’m a different person, you know, now than I was Jan. 19. Grief is a journey, you know? I understand that grief is love that has no place to go.”
Her son’s mental health struggles: “When it comes to depression, people expect it to look a certain way and they expect it to look heavy. And people expect that … to have to experience this and not be able to have the time to just sit with Ian’s choice, which I respect and understand, you know, that he didn’t wanna be here anymore, that’s a hard thing for other people to receive because they did not live our experience, did not live Ian’s journey.”
Her anger with God: “I was so angry with God. You know, why would that weight be given to Ian? With all of the things that we had gone through with the therapy, with psychiatrists and programs and Ian was like, ‘I’m tired of talking, Mom.’”
Struggling with acceptance. “Sometimes, you know, a lot of guilt comes over me. When a parent loses a child, you still wonder, ‘What could I have done so that wouldn’t have happened?’ I know that I share this grief with everyone. But no one else is Ian’s mom, you know? Only me. And so, it’s mine. And the sadness will never go away. It’ll always be with me. And I think I saw somewhere, the sadness is a reminder of how much he means to me, you know?”
She still feels Ian’s presence: “I know that it’s important to me to honor Ian in the totality of who he is. Speak about him in the present because he is always with me and the joy and happiness that he gave all of us. My favorite thing about myself is being Ian’s mom. And I can’t say that with a smile, with tears, with all of the emotion that comes with that. I can’t do that if I did not respect the journey.”
Her pain is palpable and heartbreaking. She’s still raw, she’s still in pain, and I think she probably always will be. I honestly don’t know how Regina and Robin got through the interview without sobbing. Regina is such a special person.
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, screencap from ABC.
142744, Regina King, son, Ian Alexander at The 2015 – 67th Emmy Awards at the Microsoft Theater – Los Angeles, California.,Image: 531916022, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: WORLD RIGHTS, DIRECT SALES ONLY UNLESS STATED OTHERWISE IN CAPTION – Fee Payable Upon Reproduction – For queries contact Avalon.red – sales@avalon.red London: +44 (0) 20 7421 6000 Los Angeles: +1 (310) 822 0419 Berlin: +49 (0) 30 76 212 251 Madrid: +34 91 533 4289, Model Release: no, Credit line: Max DeAngelo, PacificCoastNews / Avalon 
Regina King arrives on the red carpet of the 96th Oscars® at the Dolby® Theatre at Ovation Hollywood on Sunday, March 10, 2024.,Image: 855702439, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Credit line: AL / Avalon 
Regina King presents a nominee Oscar® for Actress in a Supporting Role during the live ABC telecast of the 96th Oscars® at the Dolby® Theatre at Ovation Hollywood on Sunday, March 10, 2024.,Image: 855737457, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Credit line: Avalon.red / Avalon
Regina King bei der Oscar Verleihung 2024 / 96th Annual Academy Awards im Dolby Theatre. Los Angeles, 10.03.2024 *** Regina King at the 2024 96th Annual Academy Awards at the Dolby Theatre Los Angeles, 10 03 2024 Foto:xJ.xBlocx/xFuturexImagex oscars_0975,Image: 855775315, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: imago is entitled to issue a simple usage license at the time of provision. Personality and trademark rights as well as copyright laws regarding art-works shown must be observed. Commercial use at your own risk., Model Release: no, Credit line: IMAGO/Jennifer Bloc / Avalon 
Regina King bei der Oscar Verleihung 2024 / 96th Annual Academy Awards im Dolby Theatre. Los Angeles, 10.03.2024 *** Regina King at the 2024 96th Annual Academy Awards at the Dolby Theatre Los Angeles, 10 03 2024 Foto:xJ.xBlocx/xFuturexImagex oscars_0986,Image: 855775383, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: imago is entitled to issue a simple usage license at the time of provision. Personality and trademark rights as well as copyright laws regarding art-works shown must be observed. Commercial use at your own risk., Model Release: no, Credit line: IMAGO/Jennifer Bloc / Avalon 
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