Is Pippa Middletons honeymoon extravaganza a grueling global gloat?
As I’ve mentioned before, I really enjoy Tom Sykes, the royal correspondent/royal analyst for The Daily Beast. Sykes doesn’t break news about the royals, but his take on royal stories is often pretty interesting and I usually agree with him. Plus, his sources are generally within the royal press corps, and man, the royal press corps is not buying whatever Pippa Middleton is selling. Ever since Pippa married Terribly Moderately Wealthy James Matthews last month, James and Pippa have been on a worldwide adventure that involves paparazzi documenting their every move, seemingly with Pippa’s approval. The whole thing has been very odd, from the close-up, high-quality of the paparazzi photos (as in, they feel like planned photo-ops) to the designer IDs for everything Pippa has worn on her honeymoon (as in, Pippa’s honeymoon feels designer-sponsored). So, what is Tom Sykes’ take on Pippa’s honeymoon extravaganza? It’s very, very interesting. Some highlights:
The honeymoon never ends: “Despite the term “dream holiday” being bandied around by the media celebrity complex, the Matthews-Middleton world tour of the planet’s finest white-sand beaches and safari parks is coming more closely to resemble a grueling, if glamorous, global photoshoot, and could be possibly the least chill honeymoon ever undertaken. But this isn’t a honeymoon. It’s a Pippa-moon. And that is a very, very different thing; more of global gloat, a chance to show the world just how much smarter you are compared than your poor old sister, who can’t even go to Mustique without being hassled, than a chance to relax in the company of your newly hitched beloved.”
From Tahiti to New Zealand to Sydney: “They were later spotted running in Sydney, in the company of a personal trainer, having flown in from Tahiti via New Zealand. Because, well, why not add an extra leg to an insanely convoluted trip? And why not go for a really expensive run when you touch down. Now, few of us mere mortals would wish to arrive anywhere and go running with a specially booked personal trainer.”
Is James already over it? “Her rather weary looking husband followed behind, wondering, perhaps, exactly what it was he had signed up for in sickness and in health. But for the relentlessly scheduled Pippa, downtime is a crime. They were hardly able to pass an afternoon in Sydney without hopping onto the nearest seaplane to go to a smart restaurant on the Hawkesbury river. Then they spent three days last week at the luxury wild bush resort Bamurru Plains in Kakadu National Park, Darwin, before arriving at Perth airport on Thursday where, according to the Daily Mail, Pippa looked “bleary-eyed.”
No regular honeymoon: “The weirdest thing of all about Pippa’s honeymoon, however, is that none of it is really necessary. James’ parents own one of the world’s most awesome hotels, the Eden Roc in St. Barts. They could have just gone there, chilled out, ate some prawn and come home again. The holiday, according to some estimates, has cost as much as $140,000. And that’s not including the clothing bill or excess luggage account: One publication estimated that the 33-year-old’s travel clothes may have cost as much as $33,000.”
Sykes thinks Pippa’s honeymoon is designer sponsored too: “Before getting too excited about the numbers involved we should recall, of course, that there’s every possibility that Middleton and her new beau aren’t, despite their enormous wealth, paying retail. The royal family are not particularly notorious for insisting they pay full price for everything—just ask Land Rover—and it’s quite possible that Middleton has been offered some generous discounts by her loyal pals in the hotel business.”
Pippa looks happier than ever: “Hats off, however, to Middleton, who does finally appear to have figured out that granny was right, and it is always best to smile when having one’s photograph taken. Middleton had developed an unfortunate habit in London of ice-queening the paparazzi with a look that was 50 percent hauteur and 50 percent f–k you, which made running endless pictures of her on Page 3 even more irresistible than usual for the Daily Mail. Middleton even managed to tell reporters she was having a “wonderful time” on her vacay so far. And, as we all know, it costs nothing to be nice, does it?”
I think Sykes perfectly captures the bizarreness of this whole Pippa experience rather well. This is how I felt about the wedding too, and the honeymoon extravaganza has only solidified the weirdness: regular rich people don’t behave this way. Regular celebrities don’t behave this way. Regular royals don’t behave this way. Pippa thinks she’s a combination of all three: rich, royal-adjacent, and a celebrity. And she’s shilling so hard and it gives off such a tacky vibe. I don’t get it at all.
Also: over the weekend, Pippa and James went to a “Swedish society wedding” and Pips wore a $3000 Erdem dress. And she looked so happy to see the photographers. Hm.
Newlyweds Pippa Middleton and James Matthews Make First Public Appearance at Friend's Wedding in Sweden https://t.co/B3hYathK7p
— E! News (@enews) June 11, 2017
Photos courtesy of Getty, WENN.
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